Character Focus: The Gronk – The Heart of Strontium Dog
Warlord Games Gronk
Every great hero needs a sidekick. Batman has Robin, Sherlock Holmes has Watson and Johnny Alpha has... a nervous, furry alien medic with weak hearts and a habit of saying "Aaargh!"
On paper, The Gronk shouldn't work at all. He's timid, constantly terrified, physically weak and prone to suffering heart attacks at the slightest bit of excitement. He doesn't carry a weapon, he isn't a fearless warrior and he certainly isn't the sort of character you'd expect to survive for long in the dangerous universe of Strontium Dog. Yet somehow, he became one of the most beloved characters in all of 2000 AD.
The Gronk comes from the planet Blas in the Gallego system, a species so similar in appearance that only other Gronks can tell them apart. Johnny Alpha and Wulf Sternhammer first encountered one aboard the astro-liner Sondheim, where poor Gloppus promptly died of fright after a pirate attack. That perfectly sums up Gronks, really.
They are perhaps the only species in the galaxy capable of being scared to death. Not long afterwards, Johnny and Wulf encountered another Gronk hiding in plain sight, disguised as a fortune teller named Madame Desiré. Recognising Wulf's pelt as belonging to his deceased brother, he promptly invited himself into their lives and became their medic. From that moment on, the trio felt complete.
In a universe full of bounty hunters, murderers, tyrants and intergalactic monsters, The Gronk became something much more important: a source of compassion. He was the conscience of the team.
While Johnny Alpha carried the burden of fighting injustice and Wulf charged headfirst into danger with his giant hammer, The Gronk reminded everyone that kindness still existed in this brutal future. He patched wounds, handed out foul-smelling but miraculous remedies and worried endlessly about his friends and he worried about everything.
Honestly, if anxiety had a mascot, it would probably be The Gronk. But that's exactly why fans love him. He wasn't brave because he lacked fear. He was brave because he carried on despite being utterly terrified all the time. That's a very different kind of courage.
Like many of the best 2000 AD characters, there was also more depth to him than first appeared. When Nelson Bunker Kreelman seized control of the Doghouse and tortured Johnny Alpha, it was The Gronk who found the strength to save his friend. Beneath all the panic attacks and nervous energy was an unwavering loyalty. He would do anything for his friends.
There are even stories – perhaps not entirely canon – that suggest after Johnny's apparent death, The Gronk discovered a fierce and fearless side to himself, travelling across the galaxy to rescue his friend's soul from eternal torment. Whether those stories are true almost doesn't matter. The fact that readers can believe them tells you everything you need to know about the character.
For me, The Gronk represents one of the greatest strengths of British comics. Characters don't have to be the strongest, the fastest or the most dangerous to become unforgettable. Sometimes all they need is heart. Quite literally, in The Gronk's case... even if his wasn't particularly reliable.
As hobbyists and collectors, it's often the giant robots, iconic heroes and legendary villains that grab our attention first. But every now and then, a small furry medic with no weapons and a bag full of strange ointments quietly steals the show. And perhaps that's why, all these years later, The Gronk remains one of the most endearing characters ever created. Because in a universe full of hardened bounty hunters, he simply chose to care and that's pretty special.
Until the next adventure...
Peps
